Things the Kid Can Do

1. Put her ankle behind her ear.
2. Balance a Monopoly card (Community Chest, not Chance) on her nose.
3. Remember that, in a picture she last saw a year ago of Julie Andrews rehearsing for The Sound of Music in an Austrian barn, it is raining outside.
4. Negotiate. Everything.
5. Apologize and ask what she can do to make it better.
6. Make me crazy.
7. Forget what she ate for lunch.
8. Play Barbies (actually: Ashley, Ruby, Mailey, Alice, Ella, Rose and Rosalina) for six hours straight.
9. Inform me that some people hope that their kids won’t turn out to be gay, but they do anyway.
10. Amaze me.