Posted in gay fathers

How You Doing, Dads?

September 11, 2009 - 1:20 pm

The National Institutes of Health has funded a new two-year study on how parenting impacts the health of gay men.  Hint:  they’re more tired.

But this study is important because one in five gay male couples nationwide are raising children, a stat I found surprising, given the still relatively low visibility of gay dads.

The study will look at stress levels, lifestyle and health habits, relationship dynamics, peer networks, and exposure to antigay discrimination.  Starting with data showing that health risks (substance abuse, depression, HIV/AIDS) are already higher for gay men, the investigators — Colleen Hoff at San Francisco State University and David Huebner at the University of Utah — want to know if parenting encourages gay men to reduce risk factors or if it increases health risks and risky behavior. 

So, OK, aside from the health risks that seem to accompany parenting (bi-weekly colds; eating your kid’s munged-up, leftover food because you just can’t cook another dinner; wiping off spit-up with your sleeve), maybe it’s just possible that stable, sustained, loving and socially-supported family relationships make us healthier (or at least happier) people. 

I’ll be curious to see the results of the study. But going out on a limb here, I’ll wager that parenting makes gay dads:  more exhausted, less likely to take health risks, more worried, more focused on the future, more concerned about peanut allergies and exposed electrical outlets, and more involved in the PTA.

Comments

Christine

September 14, 2009 1:20 pm

I agree that gay dads are no different than straight dads. Loving, tired, concerned parents. Isn’t it amazing that it’s going to take 2 years and over a quarter of a million dollars to come to that conclusion?

Stace

September 30, 2009 1:20 pm

It is amazing that it will take 2 years and a million dollars to come to the conclusion that gay dads are basically the same as straight dads, but I think it’s totally worth it if it helps to change the conservative public opinion about gay dads.

Steven

October 15, 2009 1:20 pm

We’ll be curious to see the results of the study too.

I love your last paragraph, because that’s exactly what’s happening to us gay dads anyway :-)
However, I’d argue with Stace and Christine that those things don’t make us the same as straight dads at all.

amie

October 15, 2009 1:20 pm

I agree, but this is where the nuance comes in, isn’t it? I wrote a whole memoir about being a nonbio lesbian mom. Even now, 6 and a half years into it, I’m still convinced that, even though the daily particulars of my life are very much like those of other moms, there is something inherently different about being a lesbian mom (and something different about being the nonbio mom — different from my partner’s experience, from dads’ experiences, and from adoptive moms’ experiences). It feels to me kind of like speaking the same language, but a different dialect. Would love to hear your thoughts on what makes gay dads different.

Leave Comment